tomorrow i get to celebrate my second mother's day.
it feels more like my first mother's day, if i'm honest, because the one last year was during the blackout stage of mothering a newborn when you don't know what day it is and your boobs hurt all the time. i've been thinking a lot about the different roles that moms play on any given day. the hats they wear. the number of times they unload the effing dishwasher. the schedules they balance. the way they keep things moving even in the most uncertain of circumstances. i also recognize that there are a lot of people who aren't mothers biologically but who take on that role for the people they love. mother's day is complicated for so many people i care for and respect. and the more i think about it the more i realize that the reason for that probably has something to do with the complexities of humans in general. relationships are messy. death is messy. loss is messy. love is messy. families are messy. regardless of how you spin it, happy or sad, it's likely that mother's day unearths some feelings. and with the current state of the world it makes perfect sense to be feeling anything and everything this mother's day weekend. i personally feel all the contradictions. i'm so happy to spend mother's day with my son and drew. i'm also sad to be away from my extended family. i'm restless because i'm craving human interaction the way one craves caffeine or chocolate. and i'm bummed because although we're celebrating, it almost feels like we shouldn't be in a strange way. emotions are fun, huh? anyway, i suppose what i'd really like to do is encourage you, whoever you are. whatever kind of mom you are, thank you. thanks for keeping things moving. thanks for supporting, loving, nurturing and caring for your people. thanks for showing up. thanks for helping us make sense of the world. even during a time when nothing seems to make any sense. and by george, thanks for unloading the perpetually full dishwasher. each night when i put baby doug to sleep i tell him how much i love him. then i thank him for being my kid. being his mom is my favorite thing to be. he usually responds by drooling on me. and i think that's his way of saying he loves me back. moms, you rock. thanks for making the world go round. i will never stop admiring your grace and grit. celebrating you this day and everyday.
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