this morning i saw amy schumer's new movie, "i feel pretty."
it was delightful. i laughed until my stomach hurt. i teared up at moments with which i am all too familiar. i cheered. and i celebrated myself and my body for the first time in a long time. i also ate an entire large popcorn and a raisinet melted in my crotch, resulting in a chocolate stain that looked like poop. i am 26 years old. i am a woman of below average height and above average weight. i can count the number of times i've felt truly beautiful in my life on two hands. make no mistake, this doesn't mean i don't love myself. or that i don't recognize that i am wonderful and lovely. my character and heart will always be the best parts of me. as they are meant to be the best parts of all of us. but feeling beautiful has always been difficult for me. i remember as a child i envied the long smooth hair of my classmates. when i was incredibly lanky and bony i envied the girls who looked fuller and softer than i did. when i was filled out and top heavy i envied the girls who could wear the cute free people tops with bralettes instead of the mom bras i wore to support my back. these days i envy the strong women in yoga and the ladies who don't have double chins and big arms. what i loved about "i feel pretty" is the way it depicted the full spectrum of body image struggles. no one is immune to battles with self-confidence. there isn't a single woman on the planet who is perfectly and completely confident about her body. and in knowing this, there is a sense of community for ladies all around the world. i'm not the only one who cries when i put on my spanx and look in the mirror. i'm not the only one who feels like mrs. doubtfire in her fat suit when i'm trying on dresses. i'm not the only one who struggles to be seen by bartenders in a sea of crop tops and platform heels. i'm not the only one who has farted in yoga, thrown up after pure barre or avoided the mirror spot in a zumba class. i am not perfect, and neither is my body. and i recognize that even what i deem to be "perfect" still has it's flaws. what's beautiful and perfect is based strictly on who you ask. i encourage you to be the one who recognizes the beautiful parts of yourself today. and understand that they may be the very things that you may think are silly or ridiculous. i am laura. i drink too much wine, eat too many carbs and enjoy cheese far too often to ever have skinny legs or a flat tummy. i have a quick temper and a terrible work ethic when it comes to going to the gym. i laugh too loudly, sing constantly and frequently don't know when to shut up and listen. i have scars, freckles and cellulite. i have varicose veins, impossibly high arches in my feet and rosacea. and despite all of these flaws and shortcomings, i am beautiful. i am not a reflection of what others are unable to see in me. and neither are you. with love, ld
0 Comments
|
archives
July 2020
categories |