hello!
over the past week i purchased an old typewriter, caught up with one of my best friends, got my own wifi, and had my cancer taken out! if that’s not adulting i just don’t know what is. as i was preparing for surgery i faced one of my biggest fears about this whole cancer business—explaining what it was to one of my kids. one of my friends. i told her about my sensitive skin. how the sun doesn’t tan my skin but how it burns it. i told her what melanoma was while purposefully avoiding the word “cancer.” later, i was talking about it with another adult and i heard k-baby dancing around to a song she had created entitled “melanoma.” she had turned this ugly word i had grown to hate into this adorable jingle complete with dance moves and spastic arm movements. i went home and i laughed. and then i cried. because it’s scary as shit even when it’s being used in a song/rap by the most adorable child. on monday morning, with drew by my side, i met with a surgeon who cut out the yucky part of my arm. there was no pain and the whole procedure was very quick. i will heal in a month or so and i will gain a very cool scar. being the extra careful child, i have never acquired any gnarly scars, so i’m a little jazzed despite myself. the bummer of my cancer story is that there’s not an “if” it comes back. there’s a “when.” although the cancer will never come back in my arm, there are other areas on my body that the doctor says will develop melanoma in time. the silver lining is that the more moles we take off now, the better and “prettier” i will heal. young skin heals nicer i’m told. believing in a greater purpose for my life i truly believe that this story—my story can be used for good. with every hole in my body i can share my story and encourage others to be proactive about their skin health. don’t tell yourself you’re being paranoid! take initiative and be vigilant about your body and what’s best for it. trust your instincts, if something doesn’t look or feel right, call and make an appointment. do not wait. i didn’t wait and it’s what made the difference between a little surgery or chemotherapy. every day i am thankful i made the appointment when i did. i’m not taking any chances with my health. and i’m certainly not going to mess around with cancer. was it scary? duh. am i still scared? terrified. but i’m also more informed. and being more informed gives me peace. i can dance and sing about melanoma because i’m ahead of it. and i’m not going to let it get ahead of me. i’ve never considered myself a fighter but i would equate my attitude towards cancer to that of mulan—i am a warrior. and i will not let cancer take me down. thank your for your prayers. thank you for your kindness, your words or encouragment, your letters, and your thoughtfulness. i may be dealing with some tough stuff but you all make things loads easier. i am truly grateful. thank you. until next time, ld
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i have always loved the sun.
when i was a little girl i remember spending hours basking in its rays while riding my bike, swimming in the pool, and reading in the shade. i attribute the sun to so many things i love: summer, warmth, growth, and prosperity. to me, the sun is a symbol of life in its most optimistic form. what negative thing could possibly come from something that brings so much joy? today i found the answer to that very question. a while back a noticed a spot on my left arm that looked irregular. i gave it some time and when i believed it was growing i made an appointment at a dermatologist to get it checked out. on monday a doctor took off the spot and sent it to a lab to be tested. she said it didn’t look great but she was confident that it was benign. today she called to tell me that the spot contained melanoma that has now taken up residence in my arm. now, i will be just fine. a surgeon will cut out a greater portion of the spot in order to keep the cancer from spreading or coming back. but i share this with you, my friends, because i want you to know—i was the careful one. i wore hats, strong spf sunscreens, and stayed in the shade when i started to burn. i’m 23 years old and if i can get melanoma—you can too. protect your skin because it is not invincible even when it is young. it’s more than sunscreen and avoiding tanning beds. it’s being aware that even when you’re not at a pool or beach—if you are in the sun you are subjecting your skin to something potentially harmful. in additon to that, if there are any irregular spots on your body go get them checked out. it will cost you nothing and it’s always better to air on the side of caution. be mindful. and be well. in the mean time good vibes and prayers are appreciated. i will be just fine. and i will continue to love the sun. just a little more carefully. i’ve also been thinking this may be a sign that i should move to london with ed sheeran and all the brits who stay out of the sun. now go rock a sun hat! love, ld |
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