given the saint michael school plague of 2017 my nuggets and i celebrated valentines day a few days late this year.
today room 200 was buzzing with energy, music and the sugary sweetness of red dye number 4. it was truly lovely. each year around this time i like to reflect on what love means to me. what it looks like. what it feels like. what it is in its truest form. here is what i have come up with on this balmy thursday afternoon... love is waiting to have your super wiggly tooth pulled by your teacher so it would be "extra special." love is watching your kids care for one another. i mean write each other cards, draw each other pictures, encourage one another when things are difficult, care. love is taking turns. love is random acts of kindness. love is not drawing attention to the smell of fart when you know your teacher dropped a bomb during writing. love is being patient and waiting even when you REALLLLLLLY want those cake pops. love is the sound of kids singing about the sunny side of life. love is hugs when the other person squeezes extra tight. love is forehead kisses. love is dancing to billy joel. love is the laughter of someone you love so much that hearing them happy makes you happy. love is the way my kids look at me and accept me even when i feel like the world's worst teacher. love is forgiveness. whether you're forgiving your friend for stealing your cupcake or forgiving yourself for smuggling three marshmallow pops home in your purse. love is showing up. even when you feel shitty. even when it's hard. even when you feel like you aren't going to make it. love persists. love is so many great and colorful things. it is the most extraordinarily complex part of our world and equally the most significant. i want my kids to feel love in all its forms. the wildly beautifully. the tragically painful. the transformative and the life-changing. i want them to know the limitless love of jesus and all the big and great loves that fall under that canopy. i want them to know the joy that only love can bring and the sorrow that it is coupled with from time to time. i want them to have the shit kicked out of them by love. it sounds horrible but think about it: has there been anything that has taught you more about yourself than a broken heart? just like my gram says, no one gets to enjoy the rainbow without the rain. i believe to truly know love you must know heartache. you can't understand the full extent of love without getting some dirt under your nails. i know this now. i wish my children not to suffer but to take the pain. take it and wrestle it to the ground. to fall and then to rise. they will rise. i know they will. i taught them how. along with all of the wonderful people in their lives. and so today, i celebrate love. here's to love. the candy heart love and the crying in the shower listening to adele love. the love that makes you feel like you can do anything. the love that all good teachers have for their nuggets. the love that changes the world. happy valentines day, friends. xo, ld
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since the beginning of the year, my students and i have been studying words and their effect on the world.
we've talked about dr. martin luther king jr. and how he used his words to make a positive change in the hearts of millions of americans. we've talked about synonyms and how when we write we can find synonyms for words to make our writing stronger. we've talked about using our words to solve problems instead of tattling or using our hands. see words have power, just like magic. words can be used for good or for hurt. the choice lies in the speaker. in light of recent events i have found that there are a lot of people using words to hurt and i can't help but think: how can i teach my kids to avoid this trend? how can i myself avoid this trend? i've spent the better portion of the past few days reflecting on my own words over the past month or so. the times i've used my words for good. the times i've used my words to hurt. and the times i've hurt people with my words when i had no intention of doing so. words are tricky little assholes. i use words so flippantly sometimes: assuming my kids or loved ones don't pick up on them. but they do. i have a funny thing i say to my students from time to time. i tell them to "hide their crazy." i never say it in an unkind way but i've been thinking all day about just what it is i'm instilling in them when i say that. i remember in high school someone once said that calling someone crazy was minimizing. it's diminishing and sets the wrong tone for what i'm trying to teach my students. it's not ok for me to call my kids crazy or myself for that matter. sometimes i feel crazy. sometimes my kids act crazy. but we are so much more than that. and god gave us a full and colorful spectrum of emotions and feelings so that we can feel happy and sad at the same time. so we can feel wild and tame. so we can feel big and small. feelings by nature, are so often contradictory. what i don't like about crazy is that it's dismissive. it doesn't leave room for discussion. crazy is just crazy. my kids are so many great things. they are so much more than the crazy i tell them to hide. maybe if i (or any of us) stopped telling people to hide what it is that makes us "crazy," we as humans wouldn't have such a hard time coping with some of the feelings inside us that make us feel shitty. i know it feels pretty awful to feel crazy. to feel out of control. to feel like you're in a cave and for the life of you the exit seems to be nowhere in sight. and although my nuggets a pretty young: i'm willing to bet there are times when then feel similarly. the truth is we all feel out of control from time to time. i like to think that's god's way of reminding us we are not the captains of our fate. there are times when we all feel crazy. act crazy. say crazy things. eat an entire sleeve of oreos. but if there's anything i've learned in my (almost!) 25 years it's that these things are far more normal than i ever imagined. so tonight and from here on out: don't hide those beautiful wild feelings that make you who you are. feel them fully and completely, even if they hurt. rejoice in the fact that you are human and you allowed to feel whatever it is that's inside of you. and for goodness sakes: go eat those oreos. with love, ld |
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