when i was a child, and something awful happened, my mom always told me:
god never wastes a hurt. today, i am hurting. i am heartbroken. i am sad. a teacher at my school passed away unexpectedly from an aortic aneurysm last night. she was 24. she is 24. she IS 24. i saw her yesterday. i talked to her yesterday. she was here YESTERDAY. and today she's not. i spent a good part of today looking for resources explaining loss to a child. books. activities. songs. it felt wrong. it felt surreal. how do you explain to a child that someone who was here yesterday is gone today? how can you be strong when you feel so broken? how can you carry on when it feels like the world has stopped? i got the call early this morning. school was cancelled. the staff arrived as usual. and we wept. and we mourned. and we prayed. and even though things are horrible being there was, in a way, beautiful. and yet, i still cried. i cried because it's not fair. i cried because i miss her. i cried for her family. i cried for our school. i cried for her students. i cried because awful things make me long for my family. my mom and my dad and my sisters and drew. i cried because 24 is not when people are supposed to pass. i cried because our bodies are human and fail us, even when we think they're strong. i cried because it hurts. it hurts so so much. i do not understand what has happened. and i don't know that i ever will. but what i do know is this: god never wastes a hurt. and we will carry on. and we will hold on to each other. because that's what you do when things are awful. and it won't hurt forever. i can think of no better testament to her life than the kiddos in whom she invested. they will remain. and so will she.
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since i began teaching, i have used the same book to introduce dr. martin luther king jr each year.
the story is called "martin's big words" by doreen rappaport and illustrated by bryan collier. the book beautifully depicts the life of dr. king, starting when he himself was a small child and continuing on until after his death. if you haven't read this story, i highly recommend looking it up. i believe you will enjoy it as much as i do. this year, as my kinders and i prepared to celebrate the life of dr. king we began, as usual, by reading this book. for me, the holiday is especially relevant this year because of the demographic make-up of my classroom. in my room, we are incredibly diverse. when i look out at my class i am in awe of my students and their capacity for empathy, grace and kindness. we are a melting pot of races, interests, genders, strengths and limitations. from the outside, we look as different as different can be. but what i find to be most remarkable about my class is how very similar we all are when you really get down to it. we are a classroom of learners. we are a classroom of children who argue, complain, laugh, cry, forgive and grow. there is nothing to generalize or hold assumptions about: my class is quite simply a group of children who are learning each day. there were two main points i wanted my children to understand about dr. king and his beliefs. the first, is that dr. king believed that all human lives are equal. there is not a single life more significant or worthy than another. the second is that dr. king believed in a world where people came together instead of staying apart. the way i demonstrated this was to have one child come up and attempt to lift a heavy box in the front of the classroom. the child was not able to lift the weight of the box out of her own accord, however when another kiddo came to help her, the weight was lessened. moreover, when there were 4 people trying to lift the box, the weight became even less to bear. what my children came to understand is that we are stronger when we come together. things get easier when we come together. things are better when we come together. i finished the lesson by asking my kids if they could imagine our classroom without one or two people in it. want to know what they said? they said it wouldn't be the same. that we need everyone to be complete. to be whole. in that moment, i could not have been more proud of them. my children demonstrated an understanding of humanity that many adults can't seem to grasp these days. my favorite part about teaching my students about the life of dr. king was sharing with them a small bit of his iconic "i have a dream" speech. they listened intently, commenting on his "cool voice" and "fancy suit." when they were finished listening they were quiet (no small deal when you remember there are 28 of them). i asked them to look around at each other. then i explained that they are a representation of dr. king's dream come to life. "us!? but how!?" the said. "simply by being here!" i said. "by sharing with one another." "each other's hands during prayer." "helping each other at recess and lunch." "by loving each other." "but loving each other isn't hard," they told me. "no it isn't," i said. "it isn't hard at all." happy birthday, dr. king. with love, miss d's kinders |
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