ever been going through something and someone tells you to take things "one day at a time?" i get that, i really do. one day better. one day stronger. all that good stuff. but i was at my cousin's wedding recently and my sister (bless her) lost her phone and drank too much tequila, resulting in a hot mess of a day following the festivities. i thought, you know what? i feel you, margie. we're all just trying to make it by without drinking too much tequila and losing our phones. one day at a time. i've been visiting portland over the past week and it's exactly as weird as people say it is. it's totally strange. but it's also refreshing. everyone here is 100 percent true to who they are. they are messy and odd and delightful and brilliant. it's been making me think a lot about my job. about my kids. i've been thinking about how i encourage them each day to be true to the wonderful individuals they are. in all their weirdness. in all their glory. in all their wonder. i spend my days reminding my kids of the wonderfully weird things that make them who they are. and yet when it comes to me i find it's not as simple. i find myself believing that the messy and not-so-lovely parts of me make me unworthy. unworthy of grace. unworthy of happiness. unworthy of love. i've always prided myself in my ability to make a plan. i've been planning out things since i was a little girl. the way my life was going to go, according to me. i like my plans. they're safe. they're not messy. they're predictable. and as i've most recently learned: they're not always right. i feel like i just need to admit this in case there is any question or doubt: my name is laura, i'm 24, and i do not have it all figured out. and you know what the most beautiful thing about that is? it's ok. the past month has been incredibly surprising and lovely and i think it has to do with the fact that i've given "planning" a break. i've abandoned my need to be in control of every detail of my life and i've found this to be liberating in ways i can't even describe. i share this not because i plan to leave teaching to write self-help books but because there is power and grace in embracing the messy. because at the core of who we are: we are all a little messy. people are messy. loving them is messy. letting them go is messy. learning to love in new and different ways is messy. messy can be downright lovely. god didn't make us to be exceptional planners because he is the only perfect planner. i'm trying to remember that. one day at a time. without drinking too much tequila and losing my phone. i promise to keep you posted on how it's going. xo, ld
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