last tuesday, after returning home from savannah, i felt a tickle in my throat.
nothing crazy, just a tickle. then my nose started to run like a faucet and i thought: better not go out in public, everyone will think i have covid! lol laura hathaway, lol. by the time wednesday morning rolled around i was rocking a 102 degree fever and i felt like i had been jumped on by a thousand toddlers. aches. chills. complete loss of taste and smell. runny nose. cough. the works. i felt awful. i felt scared. i called my doctor. her advice was to get tested for covid. so, my saint of a spouse drove me to urgent care where i got an impressive amount of butt sweat on the sitting room chair and miserably awaited the results of my rapid test. positive. shit. shit shit shit. my first thought was my kids. specifically, doug. because i’m nursing, char gets my antibodies passed to her through my breastmilk (sidenote: how amazing is that!? biology, man. it’s nuts). but dougie is vulnerable, as he’s not old enough to be vaccinated. i had a slight panic attack when i got the news (which didn’t help the butt sweat situation) but the doctor told me how to help reduce the spread within my home and assured me that it was safe to nurse. it was decided that i likely contracted the virus while traveling through the atlanta airport, where were many people not wearing masks. of course though, it’s impossible to pinpoint exactly when and where i was exposed. i sent messages to my girlfriends who were in savannah with me to keep them abreast of the situation. i felt neurotic, retracing every step i had taken. i tried to think of everything i touched. the seconds when i took off my mask to eat or drink in the airport. when did i get this? unfortunately, based on our estimation of when i first contracted the virus, by the time i had a positive test, our home was already hit in terms of infestation. i had been kissing and loving on both of my kids since i returned home on sunday. we had all spent time together in multiple rooms in the house. my home, much to my horror, had become a covid hot spot. because of me. my doctor told me i could wear a mask around the kids and isolate from everyone, but unfortunately, the damage had already been done. if anyone in my family was going to get it, i had already given it to them. i felt completely helpless. i got vaccinated this past spring in an effort to protect myself and those around me and here i was unable to protect the ones i most desperately wanted to keep safe. it was emotionally taxing. and on top of that, i couldn’t be helpful. i was essentially useless in terms of contributing to regular tasks during the day. plus, i felt like absolute garbage. by the grace of god, no one else in my home ever showed symptoms, nor did my friends from the trip. we are now nearing the end of our “stay away from the public, you gremlins” stage of quarantine and although i’m happy to be re-entering society (mainly, trader joes), i’m also scared and hesitant. i was careful. i did what the cdc said, i followed the guidelines, adhered to the rules. i got vaccinated. and i also got covid. and not only did i get it, but it took me down. completely out of commission. and that was with the vaccine. in the end, the double prick i received months ago did what it was supposed to do. my symptoms were relatively mild (even though they didn’t feel mild!) and the amount of time i presented them was much shorter than it would have been if i hadn’t been vaccinated. it’s also what likely protected drew against getting sick, despite all my covid germs. i share these things because i want everyone to know my intentions have always been pure. since the beginning of the pandemic, every choice drew and i have made has been sincerely in the best interest of our family and families around us. we’ve tried to be vigilant about staying safe and respectful of all who have worked so hard to eradicate this virus. all i’ve ever wanted is for everyone to be ok. and i would never tell anyone what’s best for them and their own body. all i ask is that you consider my family, as i’ve considered yours, when thinking about getting vaccinated. because i simply can’t bear the thought of one more person we love becoming someone we once loved. be safe. be well. be kind. let's take care of each other, yeah?
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